In Defence Of Emotional Cheating Books

Let’s talk about Hugh Delaware. More specifically, let’s talk about emotional cheating books and what the hell possessed me to write a romance novel with a morally complex hero who engages in an emotional love affair with our main gal.

Yes, he’s married.

Yes, I’m aware some of you will find this triggering, off-putting, even enraging.

Yes, I know many of you have been cheated on by husbands/boyfriends/girlfriends/gender-neutral other halves (hey, it’s not always men, am I right?).

I get it. It’s happened to me, too. It sucks to be cheated on, and I’m so very sorry if you’ve been through it.

To write a book about emotional infidelity is problematic. I knew going in that writing a strong female lead who falls for a married man was problematic.

I’m aware.

This is a slow burn story. Technically, there is no affair. Not in a physical sense. But what constitutes infidelity is very different for different people. Emotional cheating is still cheating for a lot of you. Frankly, it would probably feel like cheating to me, too, if I were in Victoria’s shoes and my boyfriend/girlfriend (because, well, it depends when you speak to me which we’re talking about!) had fallen for another woman while we were still together.

That’s just a shitty situation.

So why write it?

Because Nightshade is a forbidden romance. The whole point is that it’s forbidden.

Hugh is off limits. He’s unattainable. He can’t be had.

And yet…

Skip To The Good Parts...

Why I Wrote an Emotional Cheating Book (and Why It Had to Be Messy)

Writing a romance novel where the heroine falls for a married man—and making sure she remains sympathetic, relatable, and likeable—was always going to be a challenge. First of all, I had to accept right off the bat that some people just weren’t going to like this. At all. And that’s okay. I did much the same thing when writing Bane—I knew having a very steamy outdoor shag in the opening chapter was going to be too much for some readers. Hard pass. DNF. And that’s fine. Not all books are for everyone.

For example, I recently tried to read Wolfsong and was insanely excited to do so, only to DNF after a few chapters because the MC gave me THE ICK.

Why?

The novel sets him up as a sixteen-year-old who meets his love interest when said love interest is TEN YEARS OLD. I just couldn’t get past that. It was really clear from their first meeting that this was the guy our main guy was going to fall for, and I was so uncomfortable with that age gap.

Which brings me back to Hugh, because he’s considerably older than Suzie—15 plus years older. So why am I okay with that and not with a six-year age gap? Simply because at the time these two characters met, one was very much a child and the other was verging on being an adult. The difference between 10 and 16 is huge. On the other hand, the difference between a 20-year-old and a 26-year-old is considerably less. And I’d argue a 30-year-old and a 36-year-old are firmly in the same phase of life. For me, that age issue in Wolfsong was a hard no, and I stopped reading.

I’m quite sure some of you won’t pick up Nightshade, or may struggle with it—or stop reading—when it becomes clear that Hugh is very much married. In a struggling marriage? Sure. But still married. Not separated. Married.

This is a book about emotional cheating. There’s no pussyfooting around that. The characters engage in an emotional affair.

And I’m okay with that.

The Truth About Chemistry, Blame, and Emotional Affairs

Here’s the thing: life’s messy. So, very messy. And to be perfectly honest, I’m a little bit tired of the ‘homewrecker’ narratives that so many women have to shoulder because they happen to fall for someone who’s taken when they meet. I am in no way condoning cheating. But there’s a societal tendency to blame the other woman while excusing the man. She was a temptress. She’s dangerous. She’s ruined the marriage. But is she? Did she? Has she?

Often these women aren’t even aware the guy is taken. And even more often, they don’t actually do anything other than exist. They meet someone, develop feelings. Emotional cheating? Sure. But can anyone—married or otherwise—really help it if they meet a new person in life and find them attractive, interesting, magnetic? Can you control chemistry? That click?

To come to this realisation, voice these concerns to your spouse, and work through them is surely how marriage should work. And if you find that—either because of this new connection, or because the existing connection has simply run its course—you’re no longer right for each other, is it wrong to go your separate ways and embark on something new?

And if a man chooses to do this, why is it the woman who did nothing but exist who is blamed for ‘ruining’ the marriage?

I’ve known many married couples divorce—my parents included. I’ve yet to see anyone cheat, or meet someone new and realise their marriage is over, end it, and pursue something new, when they were happy to begin with. The new woman who happens along doesn’t (in my experience, at least) cause the breakdown of the marriage. Rather, she causes the couple to face the fact that the marriage is already broken.

And that’s a whole different thing.

Morally Grey Men, Guilt, and the Allure of Hugh Delaware

So there’s a lot of moral complexity here—and I’m so here for it. There’s a reason we love morally grey heroes, anti-heroes, and often even villains. Complexity in a man (or woman!) is an incredibly sexy thing.

Which brings us back to Hugh: botanist, brooder, bee-obsessed landowner with a tragic past, a failing estate, a painful marriage, and a black-and-white moral code that’s beginning to crack. He’s principled to a fault. He’s loyal—even when he shouldn’t be. He’s inherited a title, a tea farm, and a whole lot of guilt, and he’s trying to hold it all together.

And then Suzie walks in.

What makes a great romantic suspense hero? For me, it’s not perfection. It’s not alpha bravado or billionaire charm. It’s a man trying—and sometimes failing—to do the right thing, even when the lines are blurred. It’s a man who sees the heroine clearly, even when she’s not sure she can see herself. And it’s a man who wrestles with the darkness in himself and chooses—eventually—to step into the light.

Sometimes, the best love stories begin with bad ideas.

And Hugh? He’s a very bad idea.

But oh, what a story he makes.

Nightshade will be out on June 21st, so if I’ve convinced you this silver-fox is swoon-worthy enough, and you’re up for an emotional cheating romance book and a completely off-limits guy, go pre-order it now! (There’s also a murder mystery going on an a lot of bees, it’s not all about the sexy, unavailable older man!)

Emotional Cheating Books You Need To Read

And if my emotional cheating romance novel isn’t enough for you to get your teeth stuck into, here are a few more to help you decide if this trope is for you or not…